Show Notes
Today we talk the hidden curriculum behind leadership. Get ready for your first actionable takeaway.
View Full Transcript
Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Nobody teaches you how to stop being the best individual contributor in the room. You get promoted because you were excellent at the work. You hit your numbers, you solved problems. You were the person everyone came to when something needed to get done right. And then almost overnight, your job changes completely and nobody hands you the manual for what to do. Instead, there's a curriculum for leadership that nobody actually teaches you. You just get dropped into it and expected to know it already.
[00:00:28] I didn't know what I didn't know. No one taught me this. And I'm willing to bet if you're newer to leadership or even a few years in, some of this is going to sound painfully familiar. Welcome back to the Unscripted Manager. I'm Veronica. Let's get into it. Let me take you back to my first leadership role. I walked in carrying the same instinct that had gotten me promoted in the first place. Work hard, prove your worth. Let your output speak for you. That's what had always worked. That's the game I knew how to play. So when I became the leader of a team, some of whom interviewed for the same role as me, my instinct was to keep doing exactly that. Work harder, take on more, be the one who jumps in, fixes the problem, stays late, gets it done. I thought that's what would earn me the right to lead them. I thought if I could just outperform my way into it, people. People would look at me and think, yeah, she belongs here. So I kept grinding, kept proving, kept doing the work. Here's what I didn't understand yet. Leadership was never going to be won through output.
[00:01:34] Nobody was questioning whether I could do the job. What they were quietly waiting to see was whether I could lead the people. Those two are completely different skill sets, and nobody tells you that when they hand you the title. I was so busy trying to prove I belonged through the work that I wasn't actually leading anyone. I was managing tasks. I was managing my own credibility. I wasn't managing or leading the humans who were now looking to me for direction, for clarity, for someone to trust. This is the hidden curriculum of leadership, the unwritten rule that the very thing that got you promoted is not the thing that will make you effective in the role. Nobody teaches you that the shift isn't work harder. It's see differently. The realization hit me slowly and then all at once. Was so focused on proving my own worth that he hadn't stopped to ask what my team actually needed from me. Did they need me to be the smartest person in the room? Still doing the work myself? Or did they need me to set direction, remove obstacles, and trust them to do what they were capable of? The honest answer was the second one, and it took me longer than I'd like to admit to actually believe that that was the moment leadership stopped being something I was trying to earn through effort and started becoming something I had to actually lear, a completely different skill than the one that got me here. This is exactly why focus is the first pillar in the fuel framework, and why it's the hardest one to unlearn your way into. Most new managers think focus means task focus. Staying heads down, staying productive, proving output. That's the instinct we bring with us from being great individual contributors. But focus and leadership means something different. Focus is the intentional act of understanding what drives each individual on your team. Not proving what drives you, not proving you can still outwork everyone in the room. Understanding what drives them, what they need, what motivates them, what being led well actually looks like from where they're standing. The hidden curriculum of leadership is this. The job isn't to be the best doer in the room anymore. It's to see the people in the room clearly enough to lead them. So how do you start unlearning the prove it through work instinct? Here's where I started. I stopped asking myself what can I do to show I deserve this role? And started asking what does this person in front of me actually need from me as a leader right now? That shift alone changes how you show up instead of jumping in to fix. Or do you start asking questions? Instead of leading with your own confidence, you start leading with curiosity about theirs. So here's how you apply this focus lesson this week. If you're newer to leadership, pick one moment this week where your instinct is to jump in and do the work yourself to prove you can, and then pause instead, Ask the person in front of you what they need. Direction, support, trust, or just space to run with it. And then actually give them that instead of doing it for them. That single pause. That's where managing the work starts turning into leading the individual. So here's the takeaway I want you to leave with today. The instincts that got you promoted are not automatically the instincts that will make you a great leader. Nobody teaches you that you have to learn it, usually through a few uncomfortable moments of realizing your old playbook doesn't apply anymore. So here's your call to action before the next episode. Notice one moment this week where you're tempted to prove yourself through output instead of leading through people. Choose the harder option. The quieter option.
[00:05:02] Ask, listen and trust. Instead of the familiar one to do the work. That's the hidden curriculum. And now at least you're not walking into a blind. I'm Veronica, and this has been the unscripted manager. See you next time.
